communication with ex husband over children

My Ex Won’t Communicate With Me About Our Children

Categories: Letters to Susan

What Should I Do if Ex Won’t Communicate?

Hi Susan,

My ex-husband and I had a nasty divorce.  What I don’t understand is how come the courts expect us to communicate well after the divorce if we didn’t do so before it?  My ex is custodial parent due to my travel for work schedule.  He is supposed to tell me of school activities, report cards, etc. but he doesn’t.  What do I do?


Hi Celia,

You ask a great question; one I ask myself all the time.  If two people divorce because they can’t communicate well and their divorce is contentious, why on earth do the courts assume that, once the dust settles (which in a toxic divorce it never does), that the couple will begin to communicate effectively? It just makes no sense.  However, they do it all the time and with high expectations for communication success!

I assume, although you did not specify, that you have an arrangement for communication regarding the children. If you do, your ex-husband is in contempt and you may file contempt charges against him so that he is under the watchful eye of the court.  If you don’t have any documentation for how to communicate child issues, you must devise a plan with your attorney or with the courts.  You are entitled to be in-the-loop as far as your children are concerned and he is not entitled to shut you out.

Susan Shofer Divorce Consultant


Don’t Let Your Ex Shut You Out

Communication after a toxic divorce is never easy. You do have rights as a parent. Don’t allow yourself to be shut-out from your child’s life. For more help, consider scheduling a consultation.

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Susan Shofer

As a divorce and custody ally, she helps women and men navigate the troubled waters of a family breakup by sharing her own organized and pragmatic approach to the divorce process.

Susan successfully crossed her own highly contentious divorce and post-divorce battle and was triumphant in her fight against Parental Alienation.
Susan Shofer
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