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Woman talking to coach

What is a Certified Divorce Coach?

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Categories: Divorce

Why Should You Use One?

A Certified Divorce Coach® is someone who cares about YOU, works alongside YOU as you make decisions about your divorce as we believe that you are the expert and headmaster of your own life.  We are a sounding board as we assist you to be a credible client; the best client for your attorney.  A best client is able to advocate for themselves by stating what it is they want, clearly, concisely with reasonable expectations.  This approach can save you time and money; two commodities that divorces are notorious for depleting.

Melanie contacted me recently right after she learned that her husband was having an affair and chose to leave her for the new woman in his life.  Not only was he leaving but, he chose to quarantine with his girlfriend during the pandemic shelter in place, leaving Melanie and her children alone for an indefinite period of time.

Although Melanie and her husband had their problems, Melanie was shocked when she found out that her husband was having an affair.  Her husband’s father had cheated on his mother and ultimately left his mother with three young children.  As a result of that experience, he swore that he could never do that to his own wife and children.  Knowing this about her husband’s personal history and the pain it caused him his entire life, Melanie always felt safe from living a similar fate.  Sadly, history repeated itself.  Melanie and her children were now another statistic.  Not only were they a statistic, but they were also left alone during very uncertain times.

Melanie told me she was “in shock,”  by her husband’s abandonment.  Who wouldn’t be?  She spoke about the plans that they had made for their future together many times.  Their two children were in their mid-teens and soon would be off to college.  It had always been their dream to spend their winters in a warm climate and leave the cold snowy winters of New Jersey behind them.  To Melanie, her life was on the right trajectory.

When her husband told her that he was leaving her, her life changed in a blink of an eye.  She felt she had no control because her husband made a decision that she had no control over.  Now he was hunkered down, “playing house” with his new girlfriend during a pandemic while she was left home, alone, to take care of their two girls not knowing what was going to happen next.  Melanie was angry that he could just take off and leave her like this.  As we spoke further, Melanie became more anxious as she wondered what was next.  She asked me, “If he could change my life so dramatically, how can I do anything about what happens next?”

Although Melanie found it unfathomable that her husband would leave her and their children during a pandemic, the truth was that he did.  As her coach, I was her sounding board so that she could vent to someone who had her best interest at all times.  Even though Melanie needed to grieve the loss of her marriage, she also knew that there were so many things she had to do and felt overwhelmed.

Where Do You Start In Your Divorce Process?

There is no rush for Melanie to make a lot of decisions right away.  My job as her coach was to find out what her knowledge of the divorce process was and where we need to fill in any of the gaps.  Melanie had no experience with attorneys so we talked about what she should look for in an attorney.  We further talked about her financial situation, her job, her support system, and her children.  As we spoke, Melanie began to sound less victimized and more empowered.  Sure, she was still hurt, felt betrayed and knew that her grief would take some time to get over.  While working with me, she knew that there were so many options for her and that she did not have to be defined by nor did her choice have to be dictated by her husband’s actions.

By our third meeting, Melanie had a preliminary plan for herself and her children, in spite of the pandemic.  Being trapped in her home gave her time to reflect and think about her future.  Melanie is on the right path on the journey to be her best self despite and in spite of her situation.  As her divorce coach, I was able to work alongside Melanie, to learn what she wanted and how to get her there.  We found the most cost and time-efficient way to do so also.  We were able to achieve a great deal of ground in just three sessions!

As a Certified Divorce Coach, I work with my clients at their own pace.  Whether it’s one session or several, my goal is to stay with my client and walk alongside them every step of the way.  I am their advocate whose purpose is to respect that they are the experts of their lives and know what it is they want.  I assist them to find ways to meet their goals.

Divorce is a Complex, Time Consuming and Expensive Process – One That Most People Are Not Prepared For

As a Certified Divorce Coach®, I have several ways to help you understand the process better, save time and thousands of dollars.  Check out The Divorce Recovery Ladder Program, my new online program breaking down the process and giving you tips and worksheets to best prepare you for your divorce process.  I created it to help YOU get through the process with less stress, less frustration, and less expense.

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